It’s Over! Orange County Matchmakers Reveal How to Move On

By Orange County Singles Dating Service
Home / Dating Advice / It’s Over! Orange County Matchmakers Reveal How to Move On

Splitting up with the person you loved for so long is never easy, and trying to move on afterwards will feel like the impossible task.  Your days will feel like you’re drowning in your own misery, and there’s no escaping it.  Our Orange County matchmakers want you to know that after the initial shock of your breakup, it’s time to pick up the pieces and move.  You must do move forward and heal yourself if you want to get on with your life.

If you’re currently experiencing a broken heart, follow these effective tips from our dating and relationship experts here at Orange County Singles Dating Service and we’re sure you’ll be right back on the track to happiness in just a matter of time.

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1. Forget the idea of being friends.

No matter who called it quits, staying in touch right after a breakup is a dangerous thing.  Sure, everyone hopes that they can transform their ex into their future lover by staying in constant contact, but as professional matchmakers, we recommend you not to think that way.  Staying friends with your ex right now is not recommended or beneficial to your healing process.  Staying in touch with them is like adding salt to an open wound.

You might be holding onto hope that one day they will change their mind and get back with you.  But holding onto that ridiculous notion is only hindering you from moving forward.  It’s time to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.

2. Don’t call them when you’re sad.

Drunken text messages or phone calls begging for forgiveness are a big no-no.  It doesn’t matter how you feel in the moment, reaching out to your ex will never lead to anything good.  You will wake up the next day with a pounding headache and lots of regret.  If you can’t hold yourself from reaching out to them, delete their phone number so you can’t call them after you’ve had a few drinks.  While you’re at it, delete them from all of your social media accounts, as well.

3. Figure out who you are as a person.

We’re not going to sugarcoat it here.  Being single for the first time in many months or years can play with your head.  If you are used to being in a relationship, being single is a completely different concept.  You will struggle every day to figure out who you are without a partner.  This identity crisis will transform into a nightmare.  However, as bad as it sounds, our Orange County matchmakers know it can also be a fresh beginning for you.  Now you have the perfect opportunity to start something new with your life.  You have the chance to start fresh.  Rather than using this time to worry about what your ex is up to, worry about yourself and improving your life.  This is a brand new beginning for you.

4. Do not get a drastic makeover.

One of the most dangerous things you can do post-breakup is something drastic to your appearance.  Getting your long, beautiful locks cut down to a few inches, or getting a tattoo that says “All men are pigs” is the worst thing you can do right now.  You are going through a lot of emotions and probably not thinking straight, so the last thing you want to do is make a hasty and rash decision about your appearance.  The last thing you want to do is look back three months from now with regret.

5. Spend time with close friends and family.

When we’re all lovey dovey in a great relationship, it’s not uncommon to neglect the people close to us, the people who matter the most.  Your friends and family were always by your side, even when you were in your relationship.  Instead of looking for another man to jump into a relationship with, focus on the relationships you already have.  Use this time to strengthen the bond with friends and family and rekindle those relationships you neglected.  With the holidays among us, now is the perfect time to reach out and spend QT with those nearest and dearest to you.

6. Remember that the pain will pass.

You are going through a lot of pain right now, and there is no way around it.  But take it from our Orange County matchmakers that this pain will eventually pass.  Your feelings of anger and bitterness will not be a permanent state of being for you.  Don’t listen to your emotions right now because you are confused.  If you listen to them, they will only wreak havoc in your life.  Instead, process them accordingly; cry when you feel sad, scream when you feel angry, and punch your pillow when you’re feeling stressed.  Do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home, but do it knowing that one day this will all be a memory in the past.

7. Don’t seek revenge.

Revenge might seem like the best solution to your boyfriend cheating on you.  You might spend a lot of time thinking and plotting all the things you can do to him, but we advise against revenge.  Nothing good comes from seeking revenge.  It is natural to feel this way.  But instead of acting on it, do something productive with your life instead.  Let karma do the dirty work for you so you don’t have to get your soft hands and pretty fingernails dirty.

8. Learn from your mistakes.

By far, the most important thing you can do after a breakup is simply learn from your mistakes.  You have most likely made a few mistakes, so now is the time for you to reflect on those mistakes.  Identify them, learn from them, and never make them again.  This will ensure that your future relationship is better than your last.

We will all experience a failed relationship.  There are only a few people in the world who are lucky enough to find the love of their life on the first try.  For the rest of us, the pain of a breakup is inevitable.  Follow our simple tips so you can heal and move on with your life.  Once you’re completely healed and ready to find a partner again, contact our Orange County matchmakers and let us help you find true love this time around.

Fill out the private survey at the top of the page to reserve your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation to start meeting compatible, relationship-minded singles in Orange County.

 

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