Irvine Matchmakers Teach You How to Say No to Your Ex-Boyfriend

By Orange County Singles Dating Service
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Is your ex-boyfriend insisting on remaining in contact with you? Let our Irvine matchmakers here teach you how to handle this tricky situation.

Some people are okay with being friends with an ex, while others aren’t. Some have no problem hanging out with an ex, but there are people who just can’t stand the sight of them and certainly can’t remain friends.

You might want to forget everything about him and the whole relationship so you can move on with your life. However, having an ex who insists on trying to be friends can be a nuisance and cause unnecessary stress in your life.

Being friends with an ex is your decision only, and only you know if you want to be friends with him or not.

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Why He Wants to Be Friends with You

There are many reasons why an ex-boyfriend may want to be friends with you after the relationship ends. Today, our Irvine matchmakers will reveal some of them so you can understand his intentions in contacting you.

1. Back to the Basics

Some people meet their partners through their circle of friends, meaning he could have met you through a friend, a childhood friend, or someone who lives close by. Your ex might want to be friends with you so things are not awkward when the two of you bump into each other at mutual friends’ get togethers.

2. To Keep a Connection

There are people who like the idea of being friends with an ex simply because they still want to be a part of their life. Your ex might want to be friends with you because they still care for you and want to be there for you and you for them.

3. Bad Motives

Now, here’s where those ulterior motives come into play, and this is when you need to be careful. Some people don’t care if the relationship ended because they have other ideas in mind. They may think that if they’re friends with you, things will be able to get physical down the road.

Reasons Not to Be Friends with Your Ex

From many years of being in the California dating industry, our Irvine matchmakers know that a friendship with an ex isn’t always a good idea, and today, we’ll show you why.

1. The Reasons You Broke Up

One of the most obvious reasons you don’t want to be friends with an ex is the reason you broke up to begin with. When the romance ends a natural way, as when two people fall out of love, it can be easy to maintain a friendship; however, if he cheated on you with his secretary or suffered from drug or alcohol addiction, it can be hard to maintain a friendship. If you broke up for a bad reason, then you need to distance yourself from your ex, as far as way as possible, especially while you’re nursing your broken heart.

2. The Timing

Another reason it might not be a good idea to remain friends with him is the amount of time that has passed since the two of you broke up. If the two of you just recently broke up, then you still need time to heal.

When a relationship ends, our Irvine matchmakers know it’s important to take time to heal properly. You must get prepared for the new chapter of your life, which will be difficult for you if he is still in the picture.

3. Lingering Feelings

We advise you not to be friends with your ex if you still have lingering feelings. This will make it very difficult for you to move on if the two of you remain friends. We advise you to distance yourself from him as much as you can to help your heart heal and forget.

What to Do When He Wants to Be Friends

If your ex is still bugging you to be friends, and you know you don’t want to be friends with him, here is what you can do.

1. Block Him

Everyone has social media today, and you probably have him on your social media accounts. If you don’t want to be friends with him and he continues to bug you, block him.

2. Cease Contact

It can be difficult to deal with an ex, especially since they were a big part of your life. If they are a next door neighbor, a friend of your group, or a coworker, it can be even harder to keep distance. However, what our Irvine matchmakers advise you to do is try to minimize the contact with him. If he frequents places you frequent, try not to go here as much. If the two of you see each other on your lunch break, try not to eat lunch there. If you always see him at the local bar, don’t go there anymore. Minimizing your contact with him will give him the hint that you’re trying to avoid him.

3. Severe the Connection

If he still doesn’t get the hint, now it’s time to get serious. This means blocking him from social media, removing him from your phone and blocking him, deleting and blocking his emails, and any other method of contact the two of you have (Skype, WhatsApp, and Messenger). This is a drastic decision that must be done if he continues harassing you.

4. Talk It Out with Him

This could have been your first option; however, some people find it very hard to talk to an ex, especially if the breakup is fresh. But if he insists on being friends, and you clearly want nothing to do with him, then you might want to sit down with him and explain that you’re uncomfortable with the idea of remaining friends.

Explain that you want nothing to do with his friendship and give him the reasons why. Make sure that your statement is to the point so he understands it clearly and stops bugging you right then and there.

Dealing with an ex who wants to remain friends can be stressful, especially when suffering from a broken heart. If he still insists on being friends with you, our Irvine matchmakers encourage you to remind him that your wounds are still fresh. Let him know that maybe if enough time passes by you’ll think about it, but that as for right now, you know it’s not the best option for you. We always encourage people not to remain friends because exes often cause problems, especially when it comes to healing and move on.

If you’re single and looking, let our Irvine matchmakers introduce you to quality single men in Orange County. We’ll do the hard work of scouting and screening for you, leaving you to enjoy your compatible dates!

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